when you say you're going to fuck the vibrating shoes

vs.

when the vibrating shoes actually arrive

They feel like slippers attached to incredibly heavy boot soles.

Whenever I step I can feel the actuators. Feels like a spring mass system of some type.

“I have to pair my ears to my feet” is an extremely 2021 statement.

“I have to update my shoe firmware” is an extremely 2021 statement

“Why are you lying face first on the floor?”

“I was updating firmware and bricked my shoes and now I can’t walk”

them: come over

me: can’t I’m updating the firmware on my shoes

them: actually yeah don’t come over

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